The Misadventures of Zelda 64!!!
by Morter
Summary: I ACTUALLY GOT THE 2ND CHAPTER UP!! WOO! It's sorta incomplete. R
1. Default Chapter

  
THE MISADVENTURED OF THE WORLD OF ZELDA!!  
Starring: Morter (I'm narrating ^_^)  
Tails: My friend (She's odd)  
All Majora Mask people  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I did, I'd be famous... Hey, can I buy Zelda? LoL! Anyway, enjoy the show, or...like...you won't. Ehehe  
Prologue: 72 Hours, gotta save the world, Link's in a coma from drugs, so me and Tails gotta do it. We start in Clock Town and progress via chapters. LETS ROLL!  
  
  
We looked around at the place called Clock Town, which was evidently connected to a forest. Weird... Anyway, we proceeded to the south and up to the guard that guarded CT (Clock Town, not Connecticut) He blocked us with the Basketball Stance.   
Guard: You can't get through here without a weapon!  
I took out my trusty 6.3 ft long demonblade. Tails took out a flamethrower.  
Guard: Well...err...uhh...Ya still can't get out till you're all tired and stuff and then you are granted entrance to the outside world for no apparent reason!  
Me & Tails: -.-;;;  
We walked away, obviously aggrivated. We wandered into East Clock Town, seeing as we didn't know where the hell we're going. We stared at all the weird people, such as that deformed mailman and the jugglers. We headed up to North Clock Town.  
Me: 3 things. One, there's a person who can't pop a balloon. Two, there's a teletubby IN a balloon. eighteen, I'm about to go postal.  
Tails: Don't leave me out! ^_^  
Me: (Sighs) Never mind. So what do we do here?  
Tails: I dunno. Howsabout we shoot down the teletubby up there?  
Me: Ehh...ya got a gun?  
Tails: (She takes out an arsenal capable of supplying the earth 5 times in a century long world war) Which one? ^_^  
Me: ...umm...why don't you use a bow?  
Tails: (sighs) Oh ok, if you gotta be so 21st century and crap. -.- (She takes out a long bow and shoots the balloon down with an explosive arrow, igniting the top of Tingle's costume.  
Tingle: AAAAH!! AAAAH! FIIIIIIRE!!!! (He stops abruptly in front of us) Oh hiya there! Are you forest fairies? I'm a forest fairy! I got magic and...stuff. Heehee! Want a map? Only 20 rupees or you do the dance of HAPPINESS with me! ^_^  
Me & Tails: O_o;;;  
Me: How about a ma--  
Tingle: DANCING IT IS!! ^_^ TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA!  
Tails holds the barrel of the flamethrower to Tingle's face.  
Tails: Listen you little bitch. If you don't give me a map I'm gonna DEEP FRY YOU! GOT IT?!  
Tingle nervously hands Tails all the maps he has in his possession.  
Tingle: I'm off now! Tingle Tingle, Kooloo Lim--  
The sound of flames bursting and the smell of medium rare flesh arises.  
Me: O.O I'm not gonna get on your case again.  
Tails: You better not! ^_^  
So we walk up to the kid thats tryin to pop the balloon. I take out my AK-47 and pop it with 1...hundred bullets. ^_^;;  
Jim: Wha? Hey! You popped the balloon!  
Tails: Apparently...  
Jim: Wanna join my gang? It's called the Bombers!  
Me: Ehh, whatever, gotta get this fanfic going somehow...  
Jim: HOORAY! Well, all ya gotta do to get the Bombers notebook is play Hide and seek! Then you-  
Me: Whoa whoa whoa! Hide and seek? I'm not playing that crappy ass game! (Tails groans) How can I get that book without playing it?  
Jim: Ya can't- (I hold AK-47 to his head) be left out of our gang! OF COURSE YOU'RE IN! ^_^;;;;  
Me: Sweet...now GIMME!  
Jim hands me the Bombers Notebook. I skim thru it, memorize the notebook, incinerate it and walk back to the east)  
We walked up to the dude blocking the astro...thingy, I picked him up by the head and tossed him aside (Piccolo, eat yer heart out)  
We walk thru, killing the skulltula...  
Tails: Mmm...Fried Spider!! ^_^  
Me: O_o I shall never mention arachnid around you again...  
Tails: Arachnid?! O.O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
Me: -.-;;  
So...anyway, we pop the balloon, with MY superb aim.  
Me: TAILS! I'M NARRATING! _  
Tails: No...I wanna. So there.  
Me: Pff...well, you got bad narration skills.  
Tails: Well...I have good aim!  
Me: You have the accuracy of an imperial stormtrooper.  
Tails: Well, I'm superb!   
Me: Superb does not exist in your presence.  
Tails: I....you....it....ARGH! Just continue... T_T  
Me: ^_^  
So we climb the ladder, decapitate the scarecrow (DIE STRAW, DIE!!!) and we run up. I steal the Moons Tear.  
Astronomer: Hey, would you like to look through the--(BANG!!)  
I shoot him in the head.  
Me: I am NOT gonna look at that moon again. Gave me nightmares for weeks.  
Tails: (Whispers) Mooooon.  
Me: AHH! WHERE?! O.O  
So we give it to that Deku Person. Midnight of the third day comes we go up.  
Tael: With the 4 places in the North, South, East, West. You get masks, you kill the Skull Kid.  
Skull Kid: SHADDAP! Well...if you're gonna kill me, KILL THE MOON! MWAHAHAHA!  
Tails takes out a 9mm pistol.  
Tails: EAT LEAD, WOOD BOY! (She shoots him repeatedly, and bullets do no damage.  
Skull Kid: MWAHAHAHAHA! This mask is bulletproof and 100 percent COTTON!  
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!...wait. We gotta leave  
Tails: Leave it up to me! ^_^  
What happens in the next 5 seconds is an event that permenantly injures my eardrum....Tails singing. (Insert dramatic music sequence)  
Tails: Duh nuuuuh nuh! Duh nuuuh nuh! Duh nuh nuh nuh duh nuh nuh! DUH NUH NUH NUUUUUUUUUH!  
Me: Ahhhh! The horror...make...it stop...the pain...the agony...the ointment! O.O  
Tails: Shaddap...  
So we warped back in time, we end up in front of the Big Benny (My nick name for the clock)  
Tails: Ok lets go!...Mort?  
I'm holding my ears, with O.O expression.  
Me: Pain...suffering...glue....hurt... O.O  
Tails: Shaddap...lets just go.  
We walked up to the guard.  
Guard: Hey, you can't get out of here without a---hey...hey! HEY! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOOOOOWN!!! _ AHHHHHH!!!! LOOKS LIKE THE GUARD IS BLASTIN OFF AGAAAAAAIIIIN! *Ding!* (I USED to like pokemon ^_^;;)  
Me: Lets just go.  
Tails: 'Bout time. Jeez, I can't take this anymore...  
  
AND SO ENDS THEIR FIRST ADVENTURE! Lets get on to the next one ASAP! _ 


	2. Swamp 1

  
  
  
Disclaimer: I'd like to see ONE PERSON who writes a fanfic and owns Zelda. Hahaha! Didn't think so...  
  
  
The Misadventures of The World Of Zelda!  
Starring: Morter: It's me ya dumb monkey!  
Tails: She's on drugs  
And Special Guests  
Jim Raynor: This is Jimmy...NOT FORD  
And Zeratul: Khas Nalada!  
When we last left our heroes, they had just headed south. For those who have the game, you know its the swamp. If not...GET THE F*CK OUT OF THE BOX AND GET THE DAMN GAME!!  
  
Morter: When the hell are we gonna get to the swamp? My feet are killing me, and you're killing chuchus!!  
Tails: BUT IT'S FUN!!! _  
Morter: Get off it, woman!  
Tails: (Gets a twitch in her eye) What the *twitch* hell didya call me...*twitch*?  
Morter: Ehe...nothing... ^_^;;  
Tails: Thats what I thought...  
Morter: Lets just go...all this typing's hurting!  
Tails: Umm...dude? You're not typing. O.o  
Morter: Oh yeah...ANYWAY!  
*** Southern Swamp! Damn it smells!! ***  
Morter: AHH! BATS!!! GAAAAAAAAH!!!! _ (hides behind Tails)  
Tails: ...I wish you were a cat...then I can call you a PUSSY without me dying...  
Morter: I heard that...  
Tails: Let us continue...  
Morter and Tails continue to walk along when they see......HIM!  
Morter: Oh shit...how did he do that?  
Tails: (Gets the twitch in her eye again) How the f*ck did he *twitch* come back to *twitch* life?  
Tingle: Oh no...IT'S THE STRAIGHT PEOPLES! AAAH!!  
(Mysterios Background Music) DUN DUN DUNNNN!!  
Morter: (looks around) I really gotta know how they do that...  
Tingle: I GAVE YOU ALL MY MAPS! What else do you want? My Teletubbies Blow-up Doll? My Finger-Me Elmo? My Barney Di--  
Tails: STOP!!! _ I don't want any of that except you DEAD!  
Morter: You go girl! ^_^  
Tails: O.o;; Morter...?  
Morter: Yessum?  
Tails: Remind me to nueter you when we get home...  
Morter: Okey-dok-- O.O  
Tails: You wanna get 'im this time?  
Morter: Ok...  
Morter proceeds to do a bunch of weird arm movements, and then puts his fists together.  
Morter: Super Ultra BEEEEEAAAAM!! (A large beam comes out of his fists, and it obliterates Tingle)  
Tails: (Slaps Morter) STOP WATCHING POWER RANGERS!!  
Morter: Pff, fine.   
Tails: Lez go!  
Morter: Aight lets--  
***Night of the First Day: 60 Hours Remaining!***  
Morter: GODDAMN IT! _  
Tails: OOOOOH! LOOKIE!!! ^_^  
Morter: What now...?  
Tails: WOLFIIIIES!  
Morter: (Takes out demonblade) They're mine!!  
The Wolfos fall to the ground, multiple bullet wounds on them.  
Tails: Who was THAT?!  
Jim Raynor walks in, wearing a Marine Space Suit  
Jim: This is Jimmy! ^_^  
Chorus people hop in  
Chorus: ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM! YEAH ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM!  
Jim: (Shoots them dead) WRONG CAR!! _  
Tails: (Cracks up)  
Morter: Wonder why they put crack...  
Tails: QUIET! _  
Morter: Jim! What're you doin here?  
Jim: I got lost...the goddamn AUTHOR brought me here!!  
Morter: *Ahem* Err...uhh...gee...I wonder why he/she'd do that...Ehehe... ^_^;;  
Jim: Yeah. Zeratul was brought here too. He's in the Archery.  
Tails: Ok, lez go see this dudios.  
So we walks into the Archery, to see Zeratul arguing with the Archery Keeper.  
Zeratul: MY GOD, ARE YOU TERRANS THIS DUMB?! MY PSIONIC ABILITIES ARE MY OWN WEAPONS!!  
AK: IT'S CHEATING! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE A BOW AND ARROW!  
Zeratul: (Holds up his psionic made Bow & Arrows) WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS!!  
AK: Cheating!!  
Zeratul: (Smashes AK's face against the wall, and walks away with his prize) Damn Terran wouldn't gimme my teddy.  
Morter: Erm....ya... O.o;;  
Jim: Sorry...he's on anti-depressants...  
Zeratul: ^_^  
  
Well, this is too big to put in one chapter, so Ima split the Swamp.  
PEACE! Review!! 


End file.
